Should a Workplace Be a Family?

As I completed the resolution of a Mandatory Settlement Conference of an employment lawsuit recently, the closing words from the employer hung poignantly in the air as I was clicking “leave meeting”.  They  were something I’d heard so frequently over many years of practicing employment law, but they hit quite differently this time.   

“We’ve run this business like a family, now we have to change.” 

As counsel to employers, I always acknowledged and validated some variant of “we are a family” and consoled them when one of their wayward “children” was now ungratefully suing them for some reason.  As a neutral, however, I hear both sides.  In the case in question, the employee/plaintiff alleged that he was called the n-word, was mocked for complaining about it, was told that maybe it was his race that caused his supervisors not to like him, and was deprived of wages.  For its part, the employer denied the allegations, but the employer owner who attended the MSC owned multiple stores and acknowledged that he was rarely present.  He wasn’t aware of some of the wage-hour laws that the employee claimed had been violated. 

So it made me wonder, are workplaces genuinely trying to operate “like family?”  And more to the point, should they? 

Assuming the workforce is larger than the standard household, it seems like an increasingly poor idea to model it after a family.  As a parent, you may have several children, and perhaps a few cousins and more-distant relations.  Of course, you have affection for all of them, and you might treat them generously.  The typical “we are a family” employer tells me about the time he lent money to an employee, helped the employee’s child out of jam, or carried the person on the books during an illness.  This is lovely.   

However, what we do for family, we do out of love.  We don’t do it because the Legislature has required it.  No law will prevent a parent from paying $50,000 for a daughter’s tuition and $25,000 for a son’s tuition.  No law requires that mowing the lawn or doing the dishes be compensated at a minimum wage, with breaks provided and workers’ compensation insurance secured.  But a dizzying array of legislation, regulation and common law has made it nearly impossible to operate a workplace lawfully without a team of legal support.  At the same time, a parent isn’t the head of ten different households, checking in on each one once or twice a week.  A business owner, by contrast may own facilities he or she sees only once a year, if that. 

The “family” model has serious limitations for employees too, of course.  As an employee, you have the right to up and leave whenever you want for an employer offering more money or a better life-work balance.  When you’re not on the clock, your employer has no right to tell you where to be or what to do.  Children can’t switch families because a neighbor is offering a higher allowance or another family has a house with a pool and a bigger bedroom.  On the other hand, there’s no such thing as unconditional love in the workplace.  Despite all the protective laws, California is still an employment-at-will state.  So some aspect of “family” might appeal to employees, but on balance, your boss is not your parent. 

I think, at root, “we operate like a family” means “we are more generous than we think we are required to be.”  But in reality, other than the possible existence of camaraderie and warm feelings toward (most) others (most of the time), a workplace is nothing like a family, nor should it be.  The smarter practice for employers is to focus on your family at home, and focus on operating your workplace like a business.  Develop clear and specific rules (with flexibility where needed), and treat employees with maximum respect, but not like children.  For employees, also focus on your family at home, on doing your job to the best of your ability, but do not expect your boss to be your mom or dad.  After all is said and done, if the employment relationship is conducted at arms’ length like any other business relationship, if and when things do go wrong and it’s time to mediate a dispute, there will be far less emotion and hurt feelings, and settlements will be reached much more easily.